[MC]

I’m relatively new in my role (less than 12 months) and am a gay black guy of African decent. I work for a large consulting firm, as an assistant manager.

While I’ve not openly expressed my sexual preference, on the whole it’s pretty obvious that I’m gay (a couple of my peers clocked it) which I’m completely fine and tbh glad about. My manager makes comments such as “that’s so gay” as in a derogatory tone and always goes out of his way, I feel, to mention how many women he’s dating…more so when I’m around. It’s difficult to explain but it’s so odd.

I feel anxious when speaking with him as I think he might think I like him like that which I don’t. It’s like I’m walking on eggshells. It’s safe to say I’m not given the same type of work compared to my heterosexual peers. I always have to ask for work when others are drowning in workload.

I’m posting this after reading the article on homophobia at work and your posting in Reddit but want advice on what I should do without clouding my judgment with my anxiety and fear over being the 1st in the firing line for being let go…

Patiently awaiting your thoughts

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[Danny]

That’s not right. He shouldn’t be making homophobic comments. It’s no different to racism. You need to raise it with your HR because you’re being marginalized by the comments and different treatment in work allocation. Sounds like he’s threatened or feels uncomfortable with you being gay hence his need to overcomplicated for his dating escapades. What a moron. Its the 21st century fgs

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[Danny]

*overcompensate

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[Priya]

Have a word with your manager. He may not have been educated on the matter. Some ppl have really lived under rocks. Best to give him the benefit of doubt before taking it further. It will also show that you’re trying to manage the situation cordially. HR loves that kinda stuff

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[MC]

Thanks all. I’m going to have a quiet word with my manager and see what he says. You’re right, he might be consciously unaware plus I don’t want to make it a big thing when it can be easily addressed. Wish me luck!!!

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