How to be more assertive in the workplace
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As individuals, we often aspire to be more assertive, but how do we go about achieving this in the workplace? To begin, it’s crucial to gain a clear understanding of what assertiveness truly means in practical terms (as it’s sometimes mistaken for mild aggression). Here are the key attributes of assertive people:
Empowerment: Assertive individuals feel a sense of empowerment. They don’t believe they are unfairly controlled by others.
Proactivity: Rather than being reactive, assertive people take initiative. They make things happen and don’t merely wait to respond to others’ words and actions.
Rights and Responsibilities: Assertive individuals are well-versed in their rights and responsibilities when interacting with others.
Resisting Manipulation: They can resist aggressive, manipulative, and passive tactics employed by others. When necessary and appropriate, they ensure their voices are heard.
With this in mind, there exist several practical ways you can embrace to learn how to be assertive at work. Below are ten strategies that can help you to achieve this:
1. Have a positive mindset
To enhance assertiveness in real-life work scenarios, it’s crucial to envision yourself being assertive across various situations. Engage in positive mental planning—perhaps even jotting down assertive responses you’d like to deliver. By cultivating a positive mindset, you’ll be better prepared to respond effectively when the need arises.
2. Practice your assertiveness in difficult scenarios with a trusted person
As you gain mental confidence through positive thinking about anticipated situations, the next step involves practical preparation. You can achieve this by practicing assertive approaches. Consider rehearsing assertive comments in front of a mirror, paying attention not only to the words but also to your body language. Additionally, role-playing with a friend or colleague—someone who can respond in an assertive, aggressive, or passive-aggressive manner—adds realism to your practice.
3. Improve your ability at reading body language
As you seek to enhance your assertiveness skills, consider observing others as a valuable learning tool. Pay close attention to the body language of assertive colleagues around you. Notice how they maintain good eye contact, stand confidently, and face others directly during conversations with you and others. Additionally, observe their lack of fidgeting. These subtle cues can guide you in avoiding less assertive body language and empower you to make small adjustments to your own approach. You can use this knowledge to learn how to vary your assertiveness accordingly.
4. Speak firmly yet fairly
How you speak impacts on how assertive you come across. Consider the following approach. Instead of interrupting conversations or speaking aimlessly, focus on voicing your opinions and sharing ideas when relevant opportunities arise. Approach this process with quiet confidence—be assertive without being strident or pushy. Begin with brief comments, gradually building your confidence as you go. Over time, your assertiveness will grow, allowing you to express yourself effectively.
5. Do not apologize for your firm but fair approach
If you find yourself lacking assertiveness, you might realize that you have a tendency to apologize unnecessarily after making a comment. This is even when your comment holds value, is helpful and firm but fair. To overcome this, consider catching yourself before you apologize and question whether you should be at all. Only apologize when you’ve genuinely said something that warrants it. For instance, instead of saying, “I’m sorry to have to say this, but I think there may be another approach we might consider,” try expressing it positively: “I have another approach I’d like to share with you that you may find very helpful.”
6. Observe other assertive people in the workplace
During your regular work, you’ll encounter naturally assertive individuals. A valuable strategy is to carefully observe their communication style and behaviour, in a non-obvious way. Pay attention not only to their words but also to their nonverbal cues, including body language. By doing so, you can learn and improve your own communication skills to become more assertive.
7. Evaluate your assertiveness and boundary setting in your personal life
Aggressive individuals frequently exploit those who lack assertiveness, expecting them to prioritize others’ needs over their own. To address this issue, practice saying “no” more often, especially when faced with tasks beyond your capacity or unrelated to your responsibilities. Establish clear boundaries by understanding what you can and cannot readily undertake. When communicating these boundaries to others, particularly assertive colleagues, you’ll find yourself better equipped to navigate such situations.
8. Focus and improve your listening skills
While many people believe that assertiveness primarily involves speaking more forcefully, it actually centers around attentive listening and understanding others’ perspectives. An assertive individual seeks to know both themselves and others deeply, responding openly and honestly.
9. Be comfortable with differing opinions
Sometimes, even when you’re working on improving your assertiveness skills, they might not yield the desired results. Dealing with aggressive or passive-aggressive individuals can be quite vexing. However, this isn’t the moment to retreat and nurse your wounds. Instead, it’s an opportunity to stand your ground, maintain your perspective, and gracefully agree to disagree. You could express it like this: “I appreciate your differing viewpoint, but critiquing my stance won’t sway me—I believe we’ll simply have to accept our differing opinions.” Always bear in mind that acknowledging different perspectives doesn’t necessarily imply one person is right and the other is wrong.
10. Stay true to your values
Becoming more assertive isn’t a one-size-fits-all approach; it varies for each individual and should align with their unique personality, character, and values. In essence, the goal is to enhance your assertiveness while remaining true to yourself, rather than transforming into a completely different person. Therefore, take gradual steps to test your assertiveness in different situations, practice patience, and view mistakes as valuable learning experiences.