How to deal with 10 types of difficult workplace personalities
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For a large proportion of us, we spend a significant amount of time at work. This means the likelihood of working with a variety of different people with different personalities to ours, and those of our family and friends. Some of our coworkers will be easy to get on with, whereas others may be difficult ranging from moderately to incredibly difficult to get on with.
The impact of difficult personalities at work
It’s wishful thinking to assume we’re going to get on well with every single colleague at work. The ideal worst case scenario is that the colleagues we don’t “vibe with” are those we’ll just about tolerate in a professional capacity.
However, where you’ve got extremely difficult personalities to deal with, this is likely to result in conflict, stress, distraction from work, and potentially an impact on your mental wellbeing.
So, what do you do if you’re stuck dealing with a difficult colleague? Below, we’ll cover the 10 typical difficult workplace personalities, and ways on how to deal with them.
Table of Contents
10 types of difficult workplace personalities
1. The narcissist
The workplace narcissist is probably one of the more common difficult workplace personalities you’re likely to come across, especially in leadership positions. They may either be a full-blown narcissist or just show narcissistic traits. Either way, it’s likely to be causing you misery and somewhat of a shit storm in the office. We discuss the overt narcissist as opposed to the covert variety below.
The workplace narcissist will show entitlement, delusions of grandeur, lack empathy for others, demand, expect and seek out admiration and praise (even where praise isn’t warranted). They’re likely to be the “my way, or the highway” type, arrogant and self-centred.
Use some flattery (not too much) to stroke their ego. Don’t go full on “brown-nosing” but casual compliments thrown in any conversations, especially when in a group setting, may help you get the task done.
If you need something from them to do your job, explain to them how the task will benefit them. This is because narcissists are self-serving and only care about themselves.
If you have to dish out constructive criticism, be sure to sandwich this between two positive feedback points. For example, open your conversation with a positive point, followed by the constructive feedback then end it with another positive point.
Manage your expectations of them. Don’t expect them to change their behaviour and conform with non-narcissists, no matter how hard you try. This is not to say you need to tolerate any disrespectful behaviour from them, but knowing how to handle this type of character will make your working life that much easier.
2. The psychopath
While only a medical professional can diagnose if your colleague is a psychopath or has psychopathic tendencies, there are some tell tale signs you may observe.
Psychopathic colleagues have a tendency to intentionally harm others, manipulate and deceive others within the workplace. They’ll take credit, steal, be reckless and disregard any repercussions of their damaging behaviour. They care about their end goal and do not show any empathy or remorse.
Unfortunately, open communication, logic, reasoning, showing and expecting empathy and remorse are wasted on these individuals. Instead, set your boundaries, limit your communication with them and be clear that you won’t be involved in anything unethical or illegal they might try to rope you in on.
3. The “shit-stirrer”
The “shit-stirrer” personality type also known as the “office gossip”. They engage in spreading rumours, often false or negatively embellished versions of the truth. We won’t go into the deep psychologies as to why these individuals are the way they are. However, they tend to be insecure in nature and may believe that engaging in this toxic behaviour will help them to engage and connect with the colleagues. This couldn’t be further from the truth.
You won’t change their behaviour but you can manage how much of their behaviour impacts you.
If you find yourself in a position where the office gossip is trying to rope you in on the latest gossip, give a vague reason to excuse yourself from the conversation.
Limit how much detail you share with them over your personal life.
If you find yourself at the brunt of the gossip, speak with the person and explain how their behaviour has resulted in you feeling. Be sure lead your sentences with “I felt…”. But do know that, there is a chance this could fuel further gossip.
Try not to take it personally and know that they’re deeply insecure to spend time on such behaviour. If it does get too much, look at your company’s grievances procedure to see what steps you can take to raise it formally.
4. The highly emotional person
This office personality type is very reactive to their work environment including what people say or perceive about them. When they’re in a good mood they could be the most entertaining and life and soul of any team gathering. However, when they’re not in such a good mood, they may get overly upset, teary or aggressive.
They’re known as the office “drama king” or “drama queen”.
Try to remain calm when talking to them, even when they’re showing signs of being highly emotional.
Sandwich any constructive criticism between genuine positive feedback. Emotional people are receptive to positive feedback so this will help offset against any areas of improvement they need to make.
Learn to set your boundaries and communicate how their mood swings impact you. Start off your conversation with “I feel…”.
Learn to give them space and know when to “walk away” from any highly escalated situation where it becomes heated. Then revisit it at an appropriate time.
5. The control freak
This type of person tends to violate boundaries, speak in a condescending manner, and struggles to let you get on with your job without micromanaging you. They also struggle to delegate work to the more junior members of the team, which can be a bad thing for the development and experience of more junior members. They end up completing the task as they believe it’s quicker to get the job done than to upskill others.
Sometimes, this type of person may be oblivious to they way they are as some are perfectionists and set extremely high expectations for themselves and others they work with.
Ways to handle this type of person at work are:
Where they’re your boss or manager, proactively keep them updated on tasks they have delegated to you.
Depending on their level of “control freakery”, walk through your plan on how you’ll tackle the piece of work, with clear milestones. This will help alleviate any anxiety they may have over not being fully in control of the work.
Where they’re your subordinate and they report into you, provide praise and recognition for their contribution.
Open and fair communication, setting your boundaries whenever they’ve been crossed is vital for your wellbeing.
It’s easier said than done, but try not to take the way they are personally. In most instances, it’s not a reflection of you but the way they are.
6. The victim
This type of personality will be obvious to spot in the workplace. They’re the constant complainers, claiming that they’re unfairly treated. If they’re the cause for something not going right, they’ll try and justify it by playing the victim card claiming some obscure or untrue reason.
Not only can these types of individuals slow down the delivery of a goal in the workplace, they can really bring down a team’s morale through their negativity.
Ways to handle the workplace victim:Listen to their point with empathy, and then point out any evidence to the contrary regarding the situation they’re talking about. For example, if they claim the boss has given them too much work and you know that everyone in the team is in a similar boat, point this out in a reassuring way. Reassurance works well with this type of office personality.
On occasion, offer them support.
However, be sure not to encourage their victim like behaviour as providing them with support whenever they have an issue is likely to reinforce their victim-like behaviour. Judgement call is needed here.
Ensure that you set and maintain your boundaries. Listening to someone being negative for a long period of time can be draining and possibly sap your time when you need to be productive at work.
7. The point scorer
The point scorer personality is pretty common in competitive office environments, especially amongst peers.
Self-preservation and promotion are key for these individuals. If they see you as a threat, they’ll try and pin blame on you if something goes wrong (even if minor) and sometimes set you up to fail, especially if you’re both competing for the same promotion.
These individuals will very rarely take accountability of their own contributions to any poor decision making, performance or mistakes. They can be combative if held to account. So, handling this type of personality needs to be done carefully and wisely.
If you find yourself incorrectly in the limelight for any mistakes when you know clearly you’re not the reason for these, use clear facts that can be backed up by evidence to support your reasoning.
It’s human behaviour to become defensive and triggered if we’re under attack. However, try your best not to show any emotion or highly defensive behaviour especially when in a group setting. The point scorer type of personality sometimes wants to make you look emotional and erratic in front of others to prove that they’re better than you.
Try to limit your communication with this type of personality. Wherever possible, document your exchange of communication to ensure you’re not having to prove what you or they said, especially if you’re being blamed for something that’s not your fault.
8. The uncommunicative lone ranger
Out of all the difficult workplace personalities listed in this article, this one is the least difficult to handle. The description is pretty self-explanatory. These types of individuals may appear to be closed off and introverted.
They’re typically the last person to engage in watercooler type of conversations and tend to remain to themselves. This can be difficult if you’re expecting updates or general communication from them as part of team work, especially where they’re in a team leader/managerial position and you report to them.
Ways to handle this type of office personality are:
Try not to rush them in getting to learn what makes them tick. They’ll open up gradually over time.
Limit your small talk with them and give them ample space.
Show genuine interest in their opinions and acknowledge their contributions.
Try not to take it personally if they don’t come across as warm and friendly like others may do in the office. This is their personality and we shouldn’t expect them to change.
However, boundary setting is key. If you’re expecting an update or them to perform a task that may impact your work, clearly communicate this with them. If you need regular updates, be sure to articulate this to them.
9. The passive-aggressive
This type of workplace personality is often difficult to spot. This is because they’re often, intentional or not, duplicitous and not really convey their true feelings towards an office situation even though they may be unhappy or upset deep down, whilst showing a calm and happy exterior.
Instead of handling things or matters professionally, they harbour negative feelings and may use this as ammunition to sabotage or get revenge in a covert way.
Ways to handle this office personality are:
Be kind but direct in confronting any issues that you might have with them.
Timing, tact and location are important.
Don’t stoop to their pettiness if this is what you observe happening to you. Call them out in a neutral way by beginning your sentences with “I felt…”
Limit your communication with them on a needs must basis if things get worse.
Listen to what they have to say and encourage them to speak out.
10. The paranoid
This type of office personality is distrusting in nature and will question everything and everyone, even if there is no reason to do so. They’re likely to be insecure which drives this behaviour in the workplace. Rest assured, your working relationship with these individuals can be reasonably managed through communication.
Be mindful of what and how you communicate with them. We’re not saying walk on eggshells around these individuals, but to adapt your communication style so that you don’t give them anything to latch onto in a negative or suspicious way.
You reduce their paranoia by speaking based on facts, using logical and rational explanations.
If they’re volatile in their ever-changing suspicions, distance yourself after you have stated your position on any matter and leave it at that. This will help you to avoid getting caught up in their drama and anything that may distract you from getting your job done.
Conclusion
We’re all complex characters and have things happening outside of our working lives that are likely to impact how we come across in our jobs. This is not to excuse any negative or toxic behaviour from colleagues. But it should remind us not to assume or jump to any conclusions before you’ve had a chance to discuss it with them.
Sometimes, coworkers may fall into multiple personality types and there are nuanced ways to manage challenging scenarios. If you need to discuss or obtain different perspectives or stories from others in a similar situation, be sure to post in our anonymous Job Honesty forum.